Sunday, February 22, 2009

whew!

I have been running my butt off the past two weeks. About a month ago I decided to make the leap and start Cosmetology school, the best one being about an hour and a half from the job I've held for the past year and the home I own with my husband.

So I began searching for an apartment in the city of Beaumont and I found one two weeks into my search. I then put in applications the following week and got a job the first day. Everything fell into place extremely quickly and I'm running to catch up. I'll now be responsible for two sets of bills, a full-time job, and a load of schoolwork. I'm just SO ready to do something with my life. I'm twenty years-old and I see all my old classmates going into their Junior years, having families, or living in big cities. I've been in the same county for the past 18 years of my life and I feel like this is a turning point.

My apartment is a little studio nestled away in the old part of town, surrounded by beautiful "mansions" and close to downtown nightlife. I actually have a sidewalk for once in my life! I no longer live down a dirt road! hah.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Brookeland High School

I've been trying desperately to get my thoughts in order over the past few days. The topic I want to cover in this blog is a personal and serious one. When trying to convey this message in emails and phone calls, I've found myself stumbling over words and getting angry....Well, it's an angry situation, I can assure you. So please be patient with me as I try to lay my thoughts out coherently.

I grew up in Jasper, Texas. At the age of 18, I was living alone, often sleeping in my car or at friend's houses. Jasper High School was pure hell for me. I had gone through too much with students and faculty to ever feel self-confident there. During the middle of my senior year, I transfered to Brookeland I.S.D, a small school located in the community of Brookeland Texas. The classes were smaller, the teachers were friendlier, and I had a couple of good friends to support my move.

There were things I began to notice about BHS as the months wore on, things that never affected me seriously, because in the eyes of most of the faculty I was living like an adult and should just be left alone. Students were pulled from class after refusing to say the pledge, teachers spoke freely about their Christian ideals, prayer was a constant in group assemblies, and everyone knew everything about everybody.

I barely graduated. I made good grades, but I missed days of school at a time. I just didn't care. Honestly, I couldn't have been more unconcerned with the lives of other people at the school. Hey, this is the way everyone wants it, and no one's getting hurt. This is just the way a small town works.

It's been two years since I graduated. I actually am an adult now. I'm not the selfish, careless, and often reckless teenager I used to be. I've taken an interest in my community, and I want to make it better. I think that schools should be enforced to educate, and only educate their students. I believe that with proper guidance, children can grow up to be open-minded, thoughtful, and intelligent people. So that is why I was so upset with my school when I found out what happened to Richard Mullins.

Like I said, this isn't the first time I've witnessed prejudice in Brookeland, but I never thought people would have the audacity and/or ignorance to allow such a thing to occur!

Mr. Mullins is an exemplary history, government, and economics teacher. For the past six years, he has pushed kids at Brookeland to think logically and come to their own conclusions regarding politics, history, and life. He has gone above and beyond the TAKS standards set in line for the Texas public school system and has been an all-around great teacher, friend, and confidant to students getting ready to begin life outside of the classroom.

Apparently, some people in Brookeland believe that Mr. Mullins' personal opinions regarding religion and politics negatively affect his teaching skills. The sad thing is, these people are on the school board. So, to quote those in the school system and a worried parent, because "Mr. Mullins is an Atheist and a Liberal," he was suspended.

101 out of 103 students refused to sign an affidavit confirming the school board's belief that Mr. Mullins could not control his class and that he forced his beliefs onto the class. For one, the majority of students refused to sign the document. Second, I can attest to the fact that most teachers there spoke about their religious beliefs at length, although Mr. Mullins was not one of them. I guess because their religious convictions follow in line with the majority of people in town, the school believes it's okay to share them. Well, it's not. What the Brookeland school system has committed is discrimination. They suspended Mr. Mullins and he subsequently resigned because of discrimination in the work place. I don't know if anyone is aware of this or not, but such an act is illegal.

I take this all personally because I'm sick and tired of the few ignorant and hateful people in our community making us all look bad. I will forever have to disclose my hometown of Jasper in resumes and job applications. I don't want another case hanging over my head, or people thinking of me as "dumb," or "redneck." I don't want people believing I'm some close-minded racist from the a country town where no intellect or culture is allowed. Besides this, I know Mr. Mullins. He is one of the best teachers BHS ever had, and he didn't deserve this. Actually, no one deserves this. We live in America, and in this country, race, religion, creed, or sex should play no part in whether a man gets a job or keeps a job.

That is why I'm putting aside my absolute disgust at the thought of our community's own discrimination coming out of this case. I have been tirelessly emailing people, spreading the word, painting my car, and writing letters. Brookeland I.S.D will not go unpunished. We must give Richard Mullins the justice he deserves. I'm attaching some links to different blogs and websites that have shared Mr. Mullins' story. If we don't let people know that this kind of behavior won't be tolerated, who knows how far their discrimination, close-mindedness, even totalitarianism will go? Could your child or loved on be at the end of the witchhunter's noose next?

West Tennessee blog, Mr. Mullins' statement

Beaumont Enterprise story on the case

Time-line of events

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I've been tagged, sort of

So, one of the blogs I follow posted 25 random things about herself. Since she didn't have 25 people on blogspot to tag, she said we should just answer the survey if we wanted. I, too, have less than ten blog followers, so if you want to share a bit of useless facts about you, feel free.

1. I have an oddly proportioned body. I wear a small in t-shirts, and I have a pretty muscular upper body with nice sized boobs, at least I think so. But I have very short, round legs. My hips have always caused me to be self-conscious, because no matter how skinny I am, they are always predominate.

2. My grandmother was born on a Native American reservation. During FDR's presidenency, her parents moved her and her brothers and sisters to work on a ranch near Tyler, Texas. She met my grandfather, who was a ranch hand, at fourteen years old and got married. He was in his twenties.

3. My dad, growing up in the fifties and sixties, was often mistaken for a Hispanic. Because of his sibling's dark skin, they were often forced to drink from "colored" water fountains. The funny thing is, despite the racial inequalities forced upon him, my father is one of the most prejudice people I know.

4. I got to a Unitarian Universalist church. My father was Baptist and my mother was raised Pentecostal. I grew up feeling terribly guilty for my subconscious questioning of the Christian faith. After getting married, my husband and I frequented more liberal Christian sects (Non-demoninational, Methodist, even making plans to take classes towards converting to the Episcopal faith) before we found the Unitarian fellowship.

5. I don't like being call Agnostic. I find my beliefs from the best of all religions. I have read a few books on Buddhism, researched Hinduism, read the Qu'ran and Bible in totality. I can't be positive of the existence of God, but I do feel that there is something larger than me that helped set in motion all being. I am a humanist in actions, and I find all religions, scientific theories, and cultural differences concerning humanity fascinating. I think as a society, we have only began to understand our Universe, and I respect all opinions, as long as self-realized and thoughtful on the subject. I am always open to discussion on this subject.

6. As a child, I had a wild imagination. In fact, I still do. My interests change with the seasons, and I love all things history, pop culture, and fashion.

7. I'm Progressive and moderately Liberal in my political opinions.

8. I love literature. Right now I'm devouring all things Beat generation. I tend to find an author I'm interested in, read all of their works, all of their peer's works, then find out everything about their day to day life that I can. In some ways, I become more obsessed with the time of their existence than I do their writing itself.

9. The same goes with art. I used to really enjoy studying pop art. After taking a few art classes, I've moved on from my interest in Andy Warhol and the like. But I'm always fascinated by people like Edie Sedgwick and Bridget Berlin.

10. I smoke way too much. As a teen, I'd smoke a Djarum now and then, but lately it's gone up to three packs a week. I've been addicted to a lot of things, but honestly, cutting back on smoking has been the hardest thing to do yet.

11. By the way, I'm a recovering meth addict. This April I will be celebrating my two year anniversary of staying clean.

12. I hate NA and the like. I've never had a drinking problem. I can have one glass of wine and be finished. I think some people have basically addictive personalities, and anything can turn into a gateway for them to be full-out addicts. Other people, like me, have that one drug that grabs them up and won't let them go. I'm not going to go to meetings and about my "sobriety." I smoke marijuana occasionally and I am going to have a glass of wine after a hard week of work. I was 18 when I got into hard drugs and I was incredibly innocent. I am a more mature person now, and I know what my limit is. I know that hard drugs will always win over free will, and I'll never take my chances with them again.

13. By the way, I believe marijuana, or at least medical marijuana should be legalized. I've significantly researched the effects of THC, and the different scientific studies on the plant. It has been known to calm anxiety and reduce nausea and pain for people with chronic diseases. I think the reason why it hasn't been legalized is because the pharmecuetical companies have such a grasp on the economy and medical industry that they won't let such a cheap and easily grown plant stand in the way of their money.

14. I have been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and I've shown signs of PTS. My symptons began at a very early age, and the death of my mother, the physical and mental abuse that I was made to undergo as a child, and my drug usage through the years has intensified these symptoms.

15. I have really thin hair that tangles way too easily.

16. I want to travel to India more than any other country in the world.

17. I wear a size four shoe, a three in men's sizes.

18. I love old music. I'm obsessed with The Beatles. I grew up listening to them on my mom's old records and I honestly feel a familarity with them that I have with no other artist or musician.

19. I also like Janis Joplin, Big Brother and the Holding Company, The Loving Spoonful, The Guess Who, Jefferson Airplane, and a bunch of others.

20. I'm thinking about going to Cosmetology school before I get an Associate's in Art.

21. I love all things 1920's.

22. I'm a really passionate person and I get incensed easily on all things politics and human rights.

24. I'm allergic to mosquitos and I hate heat and humidity...as soon my husband I finish our educations, we are moving the hell out of Texas.

25. I always have to be on the go, I'm pretty lazy, so I don't clean often. But I'm definitely not a homebody who just want to lay around.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Just some thoughts for today

So, I get on forums now and then. It always starts out fine, I join a growing community, find some interesting topics, and share my opinion. Then a heated discussion begins, I join in, and I'm either totally misunderstood or someone has something rude/sarcastic to say to me. Maybe I'm a wimp, but it takes a very short time for me to delete my account after such an occurence.

I've always been someone to back out of fights or arguments. It's not that I won't take up for myself, but I hate tension and conflict, especially if it's not needed. Hmm, I think I'm going to stay away from them for a while. I already have this blog, a twitter, and a myspace. There's no needed for all these public soap boxes!

Besides that, the other day, thinking I had bought the light cigarettes last, I searched my bag for about ten minutes looking for the tan pack. I then proceeded to rip my car apart in all of it's glorious junk for another fifteen minutes. I then realized that I had bought the supers all along and went inside to pull the red pack from my purse. Mind you, I have about ten used cigarettes packs in my bag.

The point is, I either need to quit smoking or clean my damn bag out every now and then.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

1998-2008

In June of 1998 a black man was murdered in my small town. Jasper, Texas was thrust into the media spotlight as three young white men, one of which I knew very well, began their defense in court.
At eleven years old, I sat outside the Belle-Jim hotel every morning eating my breakfast and watching the KKK, the Black Panthers, and all sorts of journalists and reporters congregate outside the doors of the Jasper courthouse.

What happened was a horrible, hateful crime. I'm sad that our town became so infamous as racial tensions grew, and my heart goes out to all of the families involved. It's rarely talked about on CNN now, but I'm sure they must live with what happened every day.

Today the first black president steps into the white house. I'm proud and hopeful. It's amazing to me that ten short years ago I was a little girl trying to sound smart and open-minded in front of the glaring eyes of a documentary filmmaker's camera, and today I'm relishing in the fact that I voted, for my first time, for the man who has changed history.

One day I'm going to tell my kids, hopefully to their amazement and confusion, that I was present in a town that was victim to a hate crime. I say confusion, because I hope my children and all the future generations will have no concrete understanding of racism and hatred. I hope it's something they're only cognizant of due to history books, old movies, and wikipedia-like websites.

So, I'm just excited about what's in store for the next four, hopefully eight, years. I have a lot more to say about all the subjects I've mentioned in this blog, but I just wanted to jot my thoughts down at this time. I have to get back to MSNBC....and Rachel Maddow. Rrrwow.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Mom!!! Why can't I wear my bonnet to school?

I came to a realization the other day while chatting with a co-worker. I rarely wear clothes. I wear costumes. We were talking about our right brain tendencies and how we had a flare for the creative. Carol (the aforementioned co-worker) is in her early sixties and has done everything from owning a farm, to managing a fabrics stores, to working in welfare and small town politics. I mentioned to her my love for the arts and she demanded that I start doing something in that field. I've taken some classes at a community college, but I often have to wonder if my place is in the classroom. I love education, I love reading and learning new things. But the minute I step onto campus, I immediately start having a panic attack and can't think logically.

During childhood, I was always made fun of. During an entire week of my fifth grade year, I refused to wear anything other than a poodle skirt to school. That same year, although I went to a big public school, I owned mostly school uniforms in navy blue. I wanted desperately to go to a boarding school, if only because of their dapper skirts, leggings, and polos. At one point, I made my mom sew pioneer dresses for me, and I let everyone know I'd be converting to the Amish faith upon my 18th birthday.

My imagination has never stopped growing. Just last year, I'd drive my PT Cruiser around this tiny Texas town pretending to be a flapper, and I spent most of my paychecks on vintage clothing. I take Shakespeare's words to heart. For me, all the world IS a stage. And every day I get to be a different character in my own play.

So maybe I should learn to sew. Maybe I should major in fashion. I don't know. If only there was a degree that wrapped pop culture, women's history, and the study of fashion and style throughout different time periods into one package for me. Any ideas?

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Introductions

My name is Logan, as I'm sure you can see. I made this blog mainly because my husband has one..I guess I wanted to follow suit. I don't really have much to say, I always make these things then forget about them for 6 months. I don't have the patience or the need to write, but I'm really going to give it a try this time...maybe post some of the photographs I like to take, talk about my incredibly uneventful day, or the books I'm reading.

Haha...that all sounds pretty boring. But like I said, we'll give this a try.

I guess I should introduce myself. I'm twenty. I live in Southeast Texas. I work, and every once in a while I go to community college. I don't have a lot of plans for the future, but I'm a pretty wishful thinker. I'm sure I'll find something to do until it's time to die. Right now I'm a secretary. I like my job. I like to type stuff, as long as it's already been wrote (or written? See! I'm no good at this stuff....I'd rather stick to myspace) for me. I read a lot. I like movies and music. I don't know how to fish.